I think I almost feel as though I am losing my purpose in life. Last year was probably the most difficult year of my life, in terms of parenting. I just felt like I was chasing my tail all day long-- dropping both boys off at 8.45, then returning at 11.45 to fetch Asher, and then back again at 3.35 for Jacob. It didn't leave much time to get out and get stuff done, and with Aniya still needing her naps, I felt very bound to the house. And I always felt like I didn't have enough time to get anything done. Felt like I was being pulled in every direction and that the kids zapped me of any energy I had left over. By 8pm, I was DONE. Sit me on the sofa and give me a coffee. ( which didn't always happen, as there always seemed to be jobs that needed doing.)
But today I find myself in a clean house (relatively----the blinds and windows need done, but I can not be bothered!) laundry is on the go, and Aniya is entertaining herself. It's only 10.30 and I have 5 hours before I need to collect the boys. In 2 hours, Aniya will go down for a 2 hour nap, which gives me another window of time where I can do what I like/need. I think this is the first time this has happened since having only Jacob. So from going to my super busy year last year to now---very weird. I feel like I need to start making up excuses to explain my existence. Very odd.
This morning I had a moment with Aniya, where she wanted me to 'dance' with her, while we were watching MTV. It just seemed so perfect---dancing with my daughter, no interruptions. She was just gazing at me, and I just thought 'Man.I am so ridiculously blessed. How wonderful to be able to spend some quality one-on-one time with my daughter, no distractions.' So I shall take full advantage of this year of 'freedom' from my boys, and use the time that I have wisely. Clean when Aniya is down, not when the kids are home ( ha! let's see if that actually happens) and just CHILL OUT in general. God has given me a precious year, and I shall use it wisely!
How cute are they?!?