Where my mind is at..........

 In exactly 4 sleeps, me and my little family will be on a plane, headed for the ( well, I would say GREENER pastures, but I'm thinking that with the amount of rain we had this summer, that that would be impossible)- so, 2nd greatest country in the world. I might say it's the best,. but with the other 4 members of my family being English, I might be out-voted ;)
 This fills me with both dread, and joy. A ten hour flight with Aniya--------enough to make anyone squirm. It's the first time that I will be going on an airplane with her without having the option of nursing her to make her fall asleep. You never want your kid to be THAT kid who screams the whole flight and the parents look completely lost because they have no idea how to appease them. And I know I shouldn't worry, because we have not had a bad flight yet, in all our years of flying. And I think this will be Jacob's 8th time coming home---and Aniya's third time. So you think I'd have chilled out by now. ANYWAYS, my husband will be flying with us, both ways, and although he is slightly disabled ( had foot surgery 3 weeks ago and he's still not able to put a proper shoe on his foot....) it helps. He looks after the boys ( because they're the most difficult---right.) and I have the pleasure of looking after TROUBLE! Here's to hoping all goes well--

 Excitement--- I get to see my family and my friends again, and this is always good. And I'll be honest. If my sister Jen wasn't going to be there also, we wouldn't be going. The last time we saw eachother was 18 months ago, and lots happens in the life of a child in 18months. Aubrey was barely speaking when we saw her last, and  was so quiet and easy-going. Much has changed ;) And Aniya was only 8 months when Jen saw HER last. OH how things have changed. And this is what excites me most! Seeing how different the kids are now, and to see them interact with eachother! AND we are all staying at my Mom and Dad's for the last two weeks of Jen's visit, once Zach has left her and gone back to Georgia. So it's gonna be a party at Mom and Dad's house ;)

 So there is a tonne of stuff to do before we set off, so i better get a move on and start organizing and packing. I have quite the task ahead of my as my husband insists we only take two suitcases---for a family of five--- staying for four weeks----we'll see who wins ;)

Soon he'll be looking like this............

And he'll be enjoying this............

And all the cousins will be enjoying each-others company!

And hopefully the boys will get to do a little bit more of this.

And something tells me my family will see a little change in these little smoochers.

Good times ahead. I can't wait!

School stuff and such

I'm a mixture of emotions today. It's Asher's first official day of Reception, and from now on in, he will be at school everyday, All day. Another child lost to the system............... How do I feel about it?!? I'm not sure. Excitement because he loves going, which obviously helps. I love the little school they're in as well. Not too big ( 100 students total), small classroom sizes ( compared to back home!) and it's a Church of England school, so there is a good christian influence. Christian teaching without having to pay private school fees?!? Are you kidding me?? I'm in. I have to admit. When we first sent Jacob to the school, I totally assumed that the C of E stood for Center of Excellence..........it wasn't until later that I discovered that it stood for Church of England. Anyways, I digress.......... 

  I think I almost feel as though I am losing my purpose in life. Last year was probably the most difficult year of my life, in terms of parenting. I just felt like I was chasing my tail all day long-- dropping both boys off at 8.45, then returning at 11.45 to fetch Asher, and then back again at 3.35 for Jacob.  It didn't leave much time to get out and get stuff done, and with Aniya still needing her naps, I felt very bound to the house. And I always felt like I didn't have enough time to get anything done. Felt like I was being pulled in every direction and that the kids zapped me of any energy I had left over. By 8pm, I was DONE. Sit me on the sofa and give me a coffee. ( which didn't always happen, as there always seemed to be jobs that needed doing.)

 But today I find myself in a clean house (relatively----the blinds and windows need done, but I can not be bothered!) laundry is on the go, and Aniya is entertaining herself. It's only 10.30 and I have 5 hours before I need to collect the boys. In 2 hours, Aniya will go down for a 2 hour nap, which gives me another window of time where I can do what I like/need. I think this is the first time this has happened since having only Jacob. So from going to my super busy year last year to now---very weird. I feel like I need to start making up excuses to explain my existence. Very odd. 

 This morning I had a moment with Aniya, where she wanted me to 'dance' with her, while we were watching MTV. It just seemed so perfect---dancing with my daughter, no interruptions. She was just gazing at me, and I just thought 'Man.I am so ridiculously blessed. How wonderful to be able to spend some quality one-on-one time with my daughter, no distractions.' So I shall take full advantage of this year of 'freedom' from my boys, and use the time that I have wisely. Clean when Aniya is down, not when the kids are home ( ha! let's see if that actually happens) and just CHILL OUT in general. God has given me a precious year, and I shall use it wisely!

How cute are they?!?

Lately..........

So I'm not good at blogging. This was always going to be a random blog, and posts would never be a certainty. I remember when I was a kid, I kept a diary. And I also remember that every entry usually started with me apologizing for not writing more often. So I see this blog as a continuation of my diary days. Not much has changed. Only now I am older, slightly wiser, more grey hairs, and a few more excuses that I feel are valid ;), kinda. There aren't many certainties in life, but one thing I DO know for certain, is that I am a PROCRASTINATOR. I can't help it. It's genetic. As much as I try to overcome it, it always seems an impossibility! Anyways.....................

So much has happened lately. Kids have finished school, flooding has occurred in our village, and more importantly, my sister-in-laws. Their house was chest-high in flood waters, ridiculous. So many things are ruined.... furniture, shoes and coats washed away, a childhood of toys lost, but what's the most heart-breaking?? Pictures. Thankfully, we live in a time of computers, where most pictures can be retrieved, but it's the pictures that were before the digital era that are gone for good. Total devastation. Thankfully, my Mother-in-law has MILLIONS  of pictures, so she can fill in the gaps. But all of us ladies sit and think random things, don't we, and it's that thinking that causes us to remember random things, and for Clare, its causing heart-ache. The little letters of apology that her son would write her after being scolded, that she kept in a drawer downstairs, which was washed away. The necklace her parents made her for her Wedding Day, that had been melted down from her Granny's jewelry. Precious items that are now lost forever. I can't even begin to contemplate just how difficult it all is.

We place such an importance on our earthly things, and I suppose it's so difficult not to when this is where we LIVE, but it makes me think about heaven, and how we'll take NONE of these things with us. We store up so many treasures on earth, only for it all to be left behind. Kinda weird when you sit and think about it. I suppose a lot of it is legacy as well. Wanting people to see what we created and how we spent our time on this earth. Things that we can pass on to others to remember us by. And it is tough to not put such an importance on them. Huh.

Well, this has turned into a COMPLETELY different post than I had intended. I thought I was going to write about my kids,and Jacob's new Mohawk. I guess I'll leave that until next time. And hopefully next time will be soon. Here's to hope! 

 

 I'll leave you with a picture of my little peanut, and the apron that her Auntie Jenny made her. This little girl loves dress-up NEARLY as much as her oldest brother. And that's saying something. Thanks Auntie Jenny!! We love you!

 I may as well show you another one of Jacob. He too is wearing the cape that Auntie Jenny made for him. All the other items are completely random. I love the randomness of this kid. Melts my heart. Enjoy!

It's a bit fuzzy, but that doesn't mean it's not awesome. Notice how the crown on his head says Jesus Loves Me?! At least he's keeping it real. The End.

Let's just call it 'Spot'

 I'm not sure this post will include a picture. Why?!? Because it's about my spot ( and for those of you who are confused....... a zit.)

 I know it's a bit unusual to talk about something like a facial blemish, but hey. I'm unusual. And the reason I'm willing to speak about it, is because it's caused quite a stir in my little family.

 I woke up about 3 days ago with a red speck on my forehead. You know those ones that you only know are there because it hurts like heck everytime you furl your brow, but they aren't visible to anyone else?!? And the kind that you so badly want to have a go at squeezing, but you know, in your heart, that it hasn't got a head and therefor will not pop, but you can't control your urge to just give it a little poke?!? And then once you start poking you think ' Well, now that I've started, I need to give it a proper go!' And then you start to give 'er, and what started as a little, tiny speck that no one else could see, is now a MASSIVE, angry zit that is so obvious, and so much more painful, and you never even had the satisfaction of getting anything out of it?!? Ya, that kind. They're awesome.

So Asher says to me 'Mom, what is that on your head?!'

Me--What do you mean?!? 

Asher-' That big, red, spot. What is it?! ' 

Me--Oh, nothing. 

Asher--' Jacob!! Come and see this massive spot that Mummy has on her head!!!' 

 Now, I start laughing. Rewind 10 years ago, when I was having problems with adult acne, and so bad that I wanted to hid in my closet all day long ( and looking back now, I know it wasn't that bad, but not having teen acne, it was AWFUL for me), then, I would have wanted to hid in my shell. Now, I don't mind. And because it was just the one, I was seriously NOT bothered. So I was kind of enjoying the attention I was getting ;) 

 I squeezed it again at night time, while I was bathing the kids, and still nothing. Asher was still completely intrigued by it. 'Mom. Why is it still there?! Does it hurt?? It's so massive!' Aniya keeps pointing at me, saying 'Owie!' and then keeps kissing me cuz she feels sorry for me. Jacob keeps asking me why I have a 

spot on my head, and how it got there. I just told him-'Give it 10 years Cobs. You'll know!' He was completely confused.......... Every time I looked over at Jo, he pretended he got poked in the eye...;) My family is VERY funny. So, we've called it Spot. Sadly, Spot's day ( or days ) of glory have come to an end. I think I may actually miss all the attention it was giving me. It brought out the humor in my kids, which I found hilarious. Jacob is clever enough to know that he could mock me for it, and I liked that ( weird, I know.)   Side-note/story---- We have a bucket of magnetic letters, and when I walked into the kitchen today, it said 'Poopy Asher' on the oven. I questioned Jacob about it, and he instantly replied with-'Huh?! I thought I put a 'L' on there. That's weird.'--he is his father's son.

 So tomorrow, my life will return to normal. Spot will have disappeared completely, and I shall just be known as Mummy again. Oh well, it was good while it lasted ;)  R.I.P Spot.

Okay, so I've added one picture. This is me without Spot ( I think ;)

Poorly little girl

 So I'm stuck at home today with a poorly little girl. Asher had conjunctivitis last week, and Aniya seems to have got it off him. But it's affected her far more than Asher. It almost looks as though she has eczema on her eyes as well. They're so red and puffy. Poor little girl. AND she's got a rockin' temperature. Awesome.

 Last week was half-term and I had all 3 at home with me. I don't know if it's my age, but I am becoming more and more irritable and far less patient these days. Everything seems to drive me crazy, and tips me over the edge so easily! I am having to CONSTANTLY remind myself to calm down and be patient. How my Mom managed with 5, I shall never know. ANYWAYS, so even though Aniya is not well, having only her at home with me still feels wonderful. I have moments where I can think, and no one interrupts me. If I whack on Peppa Pig, she actually sits still for the entirety of the program. This is incredible for my little whirl-wind of a girl!

 Aniya, although TROUBLE, is such a little treasure, and such a blessing to us. I always saw myself as Mother to only boys, and before I ever had any kids, if you would have asked me if I could could choose to have 3 boys or 3 girls, I would have said 3 boys. And even now, I love my boys. But there is something pretty special about this girl. 

 When I was pregnant with Asher, I was so convinced that he was a girl. My pregnancy was so different to Jacobs----I felt great with Jacob--full of energy, positive, LOVED being pregnant. Then with Asher, I carried him completely differently, I felt horrible--completely different. So I was CONVINCED he was a girl. And it wasn't until he was born, that i realized just how much I actually wanted a girl. Ofcourse I was pleased with my new little baby, but I couldn't help but feel disappointment.

 When I was pregnant with Aniya, again, I had a gut feeling that she was girl. But, I didn't want to allow myself to believe it because of how convinced I was with Asher. I did all the silly tests-- Chinese calender, the ring test---everything came back as girl, but I couldn't allow myself to believe it. So when Aniya was born, when the midwives said 'IT'S A GIRL!', I was on cloud nine! I just couldn't believe it. And for months afterwards, sometimes I would just stop and think 'Wow. I can't believe we have been blessed with a girl.' And this doesn't mean I am any less in love with my boys ( I don't think that could be possible) but she just seems to have been the missing link. Jacob absolutely adores her. I constantly find him just gazing at her, completely in a trance, smiling and then saying 'Aniya is so beautiful.' And Aniya LOVES her brothers. I think Asher is her favourite, which Jacob hates, but Asher and Aniya play together, and he doesn't demand her love. Jacob forces himself on her, and it drives her nuts. I get it. I often grab them and kiss and cuddle them, and it drives them crazy!

  Aniya is independent, stubborn, happy and just plain goofy. There is something about her that draws people to her. In fact, I think all 3 of them possess this quality. But there is something about her that just draws you in. She already knows how to be funny and witty. She knows when to turn on her charm, and if she has been naughty, she knows how to turn it around in her favour. It's hilarious to see! And even though she is a bit poorly today, she still knows how to have fun. Seriously, where do kids get their energy from?!?

Ode to Asher

Well, I was going to start this off with my eldest, Jacob, but since it is Asher's birthday tomorrow, he gets to bask in the limelight.

 Four years ago today, I went to the hospital to be induced. I was 16 days over-due, and this baby was CLEARLY happy to be where he was. I was so adamant that this baby would come in his own time, and didn't want modern science to help me on my way. I had heard so many horror stories about people being induced, and how awful it ones, and I didn't want to a part of those stories!!

 Asher Matheus Jansen was born May 30, 2007. Weighing in at 8lbs 8ozs, he was a beautiful, big boy. My waters never broke through out the process, so Asher was born, still completely covered in the sack. The midwives were so excited, saying this hardly ever happened, and it meant that this baby would bring us good luck. Do I believe in luck?!? Not really. Do I believe that Jesus sent us this most absolutely, wonderfully perfect boy on purpose?!? No question. Asher is the most patient, kind, placid, loving, caring, and BEAUTIFUL boy you will ever have the privilege of meeting. He is too kind to his sister, and absolutely adores his older brother. He is my calm in the storm. If I'm ever having a horrible day, I just have to look at his face, and he instantly makes me smile. Before I was pregnant with Asher, I had a miscarriage, and for whatever reason, although it was a horrible time in my life, I always had this odd sense of peace about it all. From the very beginning, I always said to Jo that I felt as though that pregnancy wasn't going to work out. Why would I think that?!? I have no idea. But I feel like God was giving me that peace, to prepare me for what was about to happen. And would Asher have come about if I hadn't miscarried?!? Probably not. Is God in everything?!? Of this I am completely certain. And look at this perfect little man. How can you not believe that he was perfectly formed. Someone this incredible doesn't just 'happen.' Thank you, Jesus!! I am blessed to have him in my life, and so 'lucky' to be his Mom. HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY, BASH! 

The ultimate procrastinator

 I just wanted to let you know that I'm not dead, and I have not fallen off the face of the earth. With each new week, there come new problems...and most of them seem to consume too much of me. As I get older ( and this is something that really upsets me these days....pre-mid-life crisis) I learn more about my strengths and weaknesses. With age, and children, came patience. Something I DEFINATELY did not have as a child and young adult. I have also learned that I don't like change. (And this may seem funny, considering I left behind all that I knew in Abbotsford, and moved to England to be with my husband. ) But I like things just the way they are, and would be happy to never have to move again. And I mean both house, and country. Change stresses me out!

 I always knew that if Jo and I hadn't moved back to Canada before the kids started up school, the chances of us moving back home would be slim. And it's true--- the idea has become less and less appealing. However, whenever things happen in our life, and we feel like we're going to have to CHANGE how we do things, we always come back to that ultimate change, which is moving back home. I guess it's one of those things that will never be a closed topic of conversation.

 So this has turned out to be a bit random----- I was simply going to say that I had contemplated throwing in the towel, and just admitting that I am not a blogger, and never will be. Setting aside the time each day, to sit in front of the computer, just doesn't seem possible at times. And I actually feel like the computer and internet take up too much of my time, and distracts me from my kids too much. It's no wonder that mothers of years gone past, got so much more done in their homes than us. Could you imagine if we didn't have a TV or computer?!? The stuff we could accomplish could be incredible. However, I would still be a procrastinator, so who knows.

 ANYWAYS----- I shall soon be starting my 'Ode to my children' posts, starting with my eldest. I have learned to put no time scales on this blog thing, but shall do it sooner rather than later. My husband has left me for the weekend. Gone to his friends Stag, and left me to care for our children. So hopefully I find the time to do what I want to do :)